How to Wear a Sari

First – Put on your “petticoat” and do your make-up, hair, primping routine. Stomp around the house and make sure the kids are fed and in place for whatever secret life they have when you leave.  Become background scenery in your husband’s photo:

Two:  Grab your helper fairy extraordinaire, give her SIX YARDS of fabric and stand still, ready to be wrapped like a sausage roll.

Three:  Wrap and Tuck, Wrap and Tuck, Wrap and Tuck…. suck in the tummy and drape the extra cloth over your shoulder.

Four:  NO, you are not a princess.  You are a mommy pretending to be a princess and you still have to fix the damn video game when it freezes…

Five:  You’re done for now…. until a few drinks later when you try your newly acquired Bollywood dance moves.  Be prepared to re-tuck.

Ham it up for the camera… and your kids.  They love a good show!

9 thoughts on “How to Wear a Sari”

  1. Theo, you look fabulous! Gorgeous! A real princess … and Jim looks like a handsome Indian prince. (The wrapping ceremony: Thank heavens for Bina!) The final effect is definitely worth all the agro of buying the silk.

    1. Thanks, maw. Can’t say it was comfy, though. I might use the fabric to make a dress or skirt or flow-y pants… With lots left over to make you something as well, if you like.

  2. Not a “bird on a wire” ..thats the Freakin Peacock!!
    u are a fashion extreme…the woman with the most ugly winter wool hats and now the most exotic indian white chick.

    1. Oh nic, I miss you so…! our long talks and laughter….

      As for what I call the “anti-sari” for its subdued hue… I think I’m more a pea-hen!

  3. that sari looked like so much fun to wear.. put the old A-line skirt and pedestrian armholes to shame. what was the occasion for which you bought the sari? a wedding?
    and I’m curious.. did it stay on well? sari’s were briefly in the news here because the crazy socialite (emphasis on lite) who crashed a white house state dinner was wearing one.
    LOVED the Air India story. one step forward, two steps back!

  4. karen: no, haven’t been to a wedding yet… this was a formal party. and no, the sari didn’t stay on well. turns out my petticoat wasn’t tied tight enough. you stuff the fabric down the petticoat, but i hate having my waist cinched up and the fabric fell out. honestly, i wanted to do a strip tease and just hang out in my halter and slip. IF i wear one again (and i very well may not…) i would cut the six yards down to three and design a sexy slip that would become a visible part of the outfit.

    the local news here is a hoot! faithfully inaccurate but fun to read.

  5. that, he is jane! i have plans t get him a more formal indian “coat” with gold-threaded scarf and colorful arabian leather slippers. did you know that he had never worn sandals until he met me? we moved to new orleans and i think his first act of appeasing me in marriage was expanding his shoe wardrobe.

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