Don’t bring a tampon to the Commonwealth Games. If you do, be prepared to open it in front of many interested security guards and onlookers.
Leave the hand cream, face cream, eye cream (Hey, I like cream!) at home as well. If you don’t and you’re asked to test it, and you get a bit playful and rub it on the cheek of the security guard… you better hope he’s in a good mood.
And if you really seek a challenge, try explaining to police why you carry a small container of freshly ground cinnamon. “Sir, I sprinkle it on my cappuccino.”
Leave the stray coins at home as well. Even the ones in the folds of the folds of the folds of your purse. Security is more obsessed with coins than they are with tampons and face cream and cinnamon. I think it’s one last effort to fill a few already thickly lined pockets.
If it’s 95 degrees and you are going to an outside event, such as archery – don’t expect shade. There isn’t any. Just chairs on a platform on a lawn:
And when you are sitting in the sun and sweating profusely, don’t get thirsty because security won’t allow drinks inside the venue. If you absolutely must avoid fainting and need a drink, you can exit the stands and drink outside.
If you seek a bit of shade while drinking and a security guard asks you to move away from the fence and into the sun and you complain that it’s too hot in the sun – don’t be surprised if the guard gets a bit uppity and lectures you about India being hot.
My favorite CWG story: 4,000 used condoms backup the plumbing in the athletes’ village. The hook-fest is nothing unusual. Like most conventions, the extracurricular scene is active. Mike Fennel, the head of the Games Federation praised athletes for being responsible – this, after Indian officials complained about the athletes’ poor behavior.
Hello? Is it really news that young, fit athletes have sex?
Isn’t this the real story: Indian plumbing couldn’t handle the celebration?
The stands are empty. (The press, The people)
The stands are full. (The officials)
It’s all in how you see it:
A good handful of the English and Australian swim teams suffered from diarrhea and vomiting. They blamed everything from the pool water (Did it meet international standards of cleanliness and chemical balance? ) to pigeon poop. (Pigeons are roosting in the rafters over the pool.)
Has anyone on the English or Australian team heard of Occam’s Razor? The simplest and most obvious answer is usually the correct one…
On the street at my local market – they’re watching India battle its way to a gold medal in wrestling:
I call this “going local” – sitting on newspapers while we wait for our driver outside the archery venue. Police detained him for driving in the wrong lane:
One of India’s boxing hopefuls (blue) losing to England (red). It was a close and very exciting quarter-final match. The crowd went wild:
And the dream team: My dreamy son…
And his daddy – they keep me laughing: